The past two months I’ve been struggling with pain in my upper throat and ear. I had a biopsy in January which came back negative for cancer on the inside of my mouth. Over the past month my pain got a little worse and my swallowing got much worse, so I went to the doctor again at the end of February and he found a little lump under my jaw on the outside. Immediately, they did a biopsy from the outside and it came back positive for malignancy. I don’t know all the details yet, but I will update you all as I get them. I have a scan scheduled for tomorrow to see if there is any other cancer in the area.
This brings back a lot of memories from last year when I was first diagnosed. I’m not really surprised this time because yesterday morning before I got the results of my biopsy, I was thinking that even if the results came back negative, I would ask my doctor to do another biopsy because there was really something wrong in that area. The pain has been so persistent, and it felt a lot like it did last year with my original tumor.
Spiritually, I felt much more prepared than last year. I had spent a lot of time in prayer about it and reread John Piper’s article, Don’t’ Waste Your Cancer, the night before I received the biopsy results. I felt like if I did have cancer it would be because God is choosing to use that in my life for His glory. Last year when I received the news it felt like a train had hit me. This time when I received the news my reaction was to say, “Well, here we go again.” Even though my reaction was very different this year, it is still an intense daily struggle in the mind. I find myself thinking a lot about how I could have done things differently in the past, or what life may or may not be like in the future. In the end, I just need to live for today. God only provides the grace to make it through today, not tomorrow. So, I’ll just take it 15 minutes at time.
Thank you all for bearing this burden with us and for your prayers and support. Please stay in touch and grow with us as we continue to battle cancer. This battle is going to be a tough one, so please keep praying for us daily. Please pray especially that we would depend on Jesus during these difficult times, and that God would heal me of cancer medically or miraculously. We take heart that we serve the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, who made all things from nothing.
Your hands made me and fashioned me;
Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.
May those who fear You see me and be glad,
Because I wait for Your word.
I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are righteous,
And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.
O may Your lovingkindness comfort me,
According to Your word to Your servant.
May Your compassion come to me that I may live,
For Your law is my delight.