The past week has been a tough one both physically and mentally, but by God's grace I'm still here. Now that I can think clearly and my eyes can focus again, I'm going to write a blog about whats been going on spiritually and mentally.
During the past week and a half the nausea and tiredness of the chemotherapy, the soreness of the radiation and pain from the insertion of my Percutaneous Endoscopic Gastrostomy (PEG) tube really took a toll on me mentally. I was in despair because this was just the first week of about 8 weeks, and I was already having a hard time! In all of my despair, my wife really just cared for me and helped redirect my thoughts towards the Truth, and that made all the difference.
After listening to one of John Piper's sermons on Romans 8:31-32 I was reminded of God's awesome love for me. Piper simply called this "The Solid Logic of Heaven".
Romans 8:31-32
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
It is an argument from the greater to the lesser. If the greater task is accomplished, then surely the lesser is as well. The greater task was for God to demostrate His love for me by willingly giving His beloved son to be tortured, mocked, spit on, flogged, abandoned, betrayed, and nailed to a cross by the very beings He created so that my sins might be forgiven. The easier task is for Him love me and to do good to me. That is a fulfillment of Ps. 84:11 No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
A few verses later Romans 8:35 says
Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Even in the midst of my darkest hours I know that the Lord loves me, and that this pain is for good. Nothing is as sweet as the nearness of God in our sufferings.
Here is a quote from John Flavel, a Puritan, from 350 years ago:
"He spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all; how shall he not with him freely give us all things?" (Romans 8:32). How is it imaginable that God should withhold, after this, spirituals or temporals, from his people? How shall he not call them effectually, justify them freely, sanctify them thoroughly, and glorify them eternally? How shall he not clothe them, feed them, protect and deliver them? Surely if he would not spare this own Son one stroke, one tear, one groan, one sigh, one circumstance of misery, it can never be imagined that ever he should, after this, deny or withhold from his people, for whose sakes all this was suffered, any mercies, any comforts, any privilege, spiritual or temporal, which is good for them."
A PEG Tube:
The blue balloon on the right goes into the stomach and holds it in place. A little to the left of the balloon is a stopper that holds the tube in place against the outside of my abdomen, and the valves on the left of the picture are for injecting tube feeding solutions.
Thank you for updating amidst your discomfort. It really is a blessing to read what passages in Scripture are encouraging you. The Holy Spirit is truly at work and the Lord is carrying you all through this valley.
ReplyDeletePraise Him also for the feeding tube! I know my son never would have survived the first 4 weeks of his life without one. What amazing things the Lord has allowed us to discover about our bodies and what they need, even when they are really sick.
God is good.
I prayed for you this morning and will continue to do so! Hang in there, Andrew! You are such an encouragement to me. By the way, that peg tube looks uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteAndrew,
ReplyDeleteI have not met you yet, but I am more than encouraged by your spirit and your reliance on the Lord through these times. I guess that whether the times are tough or easy, we should always trust in the Lord.
I am glad that you provide the updates on your physical situation so that we can pray specifically. But I was really encouraged when I read of your reliance on the scriptural promises from God.
I am a member of a men's ensemble at our church, and we were practicing last night for a concert tonight. My thoughts were still fresh with the "Solid Logic" you had conveyed in your blog. As I sang the songs we had chosen - "He Never Failed Me Yet," "In the Presence of Jehovah," "Love Lifted Me," "Shine On Me," and others - I thought of what an encourgement God's love is for us. I enjoy singing and making a joyful noise for the Lord, but the songs that we sing to His praise are so full the grace and mercy of our God that singing them blesses my soul. If we get the chance to record any of the songs, I'll send you a copy.
We are continuing to pray for you and Grace and your whole family. I'm glad that my mom has had the opportunity to spend time with you all. Please keep the updates and prayer requests coming.
Yours in Christ,
Dennis Jamora