Wednesday, October 01, 2008


I'm now in an isolation room awaiting my scan. They just injected me with radioactive glucose using a 2 inch lead syringe. Now I'm supposed to sit for about an hour so that the glucose can absorb into my cells, and then lie in the "tube" for about 45 minutes while they take various pictures.

I've been begging the Lord all day that the scan would be accurate and that there would be no more cancer. I'm so frustrated with my body. I was once so youthful, and free, and now just about everything is painful and difficult. I even choke on my own saliva so I constantly have to spit in a cup.

Lord, please rescue me from my anxieties and complaining. You have been so faithful to me. You spared me from self destruction during my adolecent years. You were faithful to answer my cries to rescue me from my lonely, miserable life, and brought me into a life as your child. You answered my prayers for a wife and gave me more than I could have imagined. When Gracie was born on our bathroom floor you answered our cries for Grace and Gracie's lives, and Gracie was healthier than we could have imagined. You answered the first time I had surgery, radiation and chemo to restore me and make me as good as new. You answered when we begged to move to Minnesota. You provided a house for us. You've taken care all our needs these past 6 months, and you even answered our prayers to lessen the pain.

When we prayed a few years back that we would not waste our lives and that we would have an impact on this world, and that you would rescue us from our desire to live for the typical American dream of a 3 car garage, comfort, ease and a retirement package, you answered with cancer. It is your hand that has afflicted us for your glory. To teach us and those around us that you are God, and worthy of worship and praise. Don't let us waste this cancer.

Help me to have the mind of Christ. Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross . Help me to have joy in my suffering, joy in my humiliation. Please give me joy in weakness and in shame.

Time to scan.


  1. THANK YOU for that Blog, Andrew. God is conforming you into His image and its quite clear. Praise God--He is so good and faithful. You are in you in my prayers constantly.

  2. Don't even know what to say after reading that. Thank you for once again encouraging my heart. The Lord continues to use your life to exhort and strengthen others. I, along with many others, are eagerly anticipating your test results...knowing full well that whatever they are, the Lord's hand has been in it and will continue to be. How great to know that He cares for you and in the hardest of times gives the extraordinary grace we need.

  3. Andrew,

    This trial has impacted and touched more people than you will ever know this side of eternity, and has strengthened and taught so many of us how mighty and glorious this great God is that we get to serve. I wish there was some way I could show you and Grace just how much your struggles, this blog, and your words, and how God has worked through you, has impacted my life and the life of my family. It has changed us and made us see God so much clearer. I love God more because of what I have seen Him do in your lives.

    We will always be praying for you and Grace and your family.

    ~Kim S

  4. The only response to your blog is "Praise our Mighty and Awesome God, all Glory to You!"
    I wish the whole world would read your blog. CBC in NJ continues to faithfully pray for you.

  5. I just have to say how humbling your blog is today!!!! Simpy incredible! I needed to read this today because I am going through my own trials with many health issues and only 34 yrs. old. I have been struggling too as you say in your blog with wanting to be normal and able to get out and do what everyone else does on a daily basis. But God has different plans for us and wants to use us in so many ways! Thank you for your honesty and helping me not feel alone in my journey!!

    Much Peace,
    FBC, Ohio

  6. Mindy,
    Thank you so much for sharing your comment. I don't know your email so I'll respond to you as a comment.

    One of the greatest difficulties that I experience these days is feeling alone. Satan wants us to feel alone. God gives us encouragement through people but most importantly our God and Father is here with us all the time. We cannot forget that. He sticks closer than a friend, church, or spouse. When I feel most alone is when God reminds me that He is the only true source of comfort.


  7. Thanks for taking the time to respond back to me! I am encouraged by your words! Hope your doing well today! It's definitely one day at a time!! Don't look back nor forward, just rest in today!!


  8. Your blog, especially this post helps me know and worship God in a deeper way. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Erik (RBC)

  9. I'm encouraged, uplifted, CONVICTED and humbled. The Lord has answered your prayer to use you.