I get the PET scan results tomorrow morning. I was definately more anxious the past few weeks than I am right now. Now I kind of want to get tomorrow over with. Even if the doctor says I'm cancer free, it really just means for the time being. Thats what they said last year at my first scan after radiation and chemo. We got a negative scan in August, moved to Minnesota, and got a questionable scan in January followed by a positive in March. We'll always be on our toes, but if the Lord wills we will soon be able to make bigger steps towards a more settled lifestyle.
Tonight our family prayed together in our living room about tomorrow's results. At first I wasn't in a super spiritual praying mood but as I started to pray the Holy Spirit starting convicting me that I feel aggrevated that things aren't in order in my life. Like I wanted tomorrow's results to be negative so that I can finally get my ducks in a row and be able to sit back and relax. I quickly realized that even if the scan is negative, things aren't ever going to be easy. I have major disabilities particularly with speech and swallowing that will make life uncomfortable for the rest of my life. But God wants me to be content in difficulty. Sean Higgins, the student ministries pastor at our old church, used to always say that you need to "ETP" or enjoy the process. That is the key to godliness. I need to be content AND happy to suffer with cancer, or suffer without it. Otherwise I'm going to be one hard-to-get-along-with husband and father for the rest of my life.
I'll keep you posted tomorrow afternoon (Oct 8) on the results of my scan. Good night.
P.S. Phil Johnson added our blog to his list of things to read while the Pyromaniacs take October off of blogging (Thanks Phil!). I've noticed that this has significantly increased traffic to our site. If you are new to our blog I want to welcome you to experience this trial with us and grow as we grow (first cancer blog is 1/15/07). I know everybody feels the pains of trials in their own unique way, so let's persevere together. I invite those who don't know us to join in and comment, or email me to introduce yourself. We'd love to hear from you and quite frankly could use the encouragement. Thanks for visiting!