Thursday, April 10, 2008



I'm back at home now. I actually got back last Friday night but we've been so busy that we havn't been able to blog. Plus I didn't pay our internet bill while in the hospital so we got it up and running again today. I can kind of type now. They changed out my cast on my right arm for a splint so I have some motion with my fingers. By the way, for the record... I didn't know I had 4 surgeries. I thought I only had 3. Grace informed the the other day that it was 4. Apparently I was so drugged up that I was in and out of the operating room before I got over the previous surgery. I really only remember surgeries 1 and 4. I do remember bleeding a whole lot somewhere in between. though.

The past few weeks have been the darkest thus far in my life. I've really struggled to believe the goodness that lies in our suffering, and to find hope amidst disappointing news. I woke up this morning crying out to God for help to face the day. It seems as if each day I'm crying out with all of my might for help to face the battle which is today. I am convicted that it takes intense suffering for me to cry out to God to face the daily battle, when this battle always existed but when I was healthy I was numbed to it. Reliant upon myself and my own capabilities. The devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking ones to devour. He'll devour us when we are not watchful, numbed by the comforts of this world.

The surgeons had to remove much more of my tongue and floor of mouth than we initially thought. Thankfully they saved my vocal cords and a sliver of my tongue so that I can speak some. I cannot swallow anything at all right now, so please pray that I would miraculously be able to swallow and eat again.

Unfortunately, even with such a large removal effort, there is still microscopic cancer in my body. The pathology shows that the cancer was actually skipping around and not just in one solid mass. The doctors say I should do radiation and chemotherapy again even though you are supposed to only be able to radiate a single area of your body once in a lifetime. Radiating twice comes with great risks to the healthy tissue that is left. But I suppose I have no other options.

I've been feeling like a little child lately. I could relate to my son who sometimes whines or throws a fit. Thats how I've been feeling about this trial. Like a little child kicking and screaming, not wanting to do what I'm supposed to. I know that this if my service of worship to God, and that I have so much to be thankful for. God spared my life through my teenage years until I became a Christian and received the forgiveness of my sins through the blood of Jesus Christ shed on the cross. I was watching the news and saw that a bunch of teenagers had been killed in a bus accident. At that moment I felt so ashamed to be complaining in my heart to God. What if that had been me on a bus when I was 17 years old? Not only would I have perished without the forgiveness of my sins and gone to hell forever, which is infinately worse than dying of cancer. But I also would have missed out on the past 9 years which have been so rich and wonderful. Even if I suffer for the rest of my life, and perhaps die at a young age, I am so thankful for the past several years that I got to have. This past year after my first bout with cancer was the richest of them all. Why should I believe that God does not have a rich future ahead of me either on earth or in heaven?

Last night I got to go to church for a night of singing and although I can't sing much I mostly listened. It brought tears to my eyes for the first half hour of the night because I was just so happy to be reminded that this is so much bigger than me. This is about God and His divine purposes. Not about Andrew Mark and his family's comfort. Grace told me today that when she gets to heaven she's going to feel so stupid for leaving earth kicking and screaming trying to hold on to the comforts that we have here.

We used to pray that God would teach us to trust Him fully and that we wouldn't waste our lives. Then we would gulp because we had a feeling that it would be answered through suffering. And it was. This is my service of worship to God. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that today if I don't have the ability to accomplish anything but change my wound dressings, get 8 cans of formula through my feeding tube, take my various medicines, and take a shower I've accomplished much for God. This is how God has called me to serve Him now. Like a child, I fuss about it, but who am I to complain? I have much to be thankful for.

Please pray:
1) That God would heal me of cancer. We are going to do research on treatment options, but ultimately God is that one who can heal me of the remaining cancer.
2) That I would be able to swallow, eat and speak normally again.
3) For courage for my family to face each day through the strength that God provides.

Here is one of my favorite songs that I hope to one day sing again:

Alas, and Did my Savior Bleed
Bob Kauflin / Isaac Watts

Verse 1:
Alas, and did my Savior bleed
and did my Sov'reign die?
Would he devote that sacred head
for such a worm as I?
Was it for sins that I had done
He groaned upon the tree?
Amazing pity, grace unknown
and love beyond degree.

My God, why would you shed your blood
so pure and undefiled
To make a sinful one like me
your chosen precious child?

Verse 2:
Well might the sun in darkness hide
and shut his glories in
When Christ, the mighty Maker died
for man the creature's sin.
Thus might I hide my blushing face
while his dear cross appears.
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness
and melt my eyes to tears.


  1. You are most definitely in our daily prayers. It's nice to hear from you!

  2. Thanks for posting Andrew. I was reading through it, just realizing that I would probably respond very similar, on so many levels. Thanks for your honesty, and thanks for the example of ultimately trusting in the Lord's goodness and sovereignty.

    You guys are in my prayers.

  3. Brother Andrew,
    We will pray again for you tonight at homegroup. We pray that God will also continue to change our family from grumblers to beggars - begging for more of Christ, His Word, His grace, His incredible goodness. You need to know that your testimony IS having an amazing impact on saints all over the place -- whenever I share your story with others it always presents an opportuntity to speak of the LORD in Heaven where we'll be with Him someday - forever. Maybe today for some, ten years for others, fifty plus years for my children (maybe) but, because of Christ's infinate payment on that glorious cross we'll be worshipping Him forever! (Sometimes I want to be there, with JESUS, this very moment!) Every day we must wage war on this sinful flesh until... until we are with HIM. We keep asking the Lord to give us "kingdom" eyes and hearts and minds to seek God's glory only - not more comfort and ease for ourselves. It's a battle that you are helping us to fight -- your testimony is unbelievble. I believe it is you who should be praying so much more for "us"! You are an amazing vessel used for our precious Redeemer's glory...
    We cannot thank you enough for letting us in on this journey.
    Richest blessings upon your household today and always!
    Love from the Magees
    Spokane, WA

  4. thanks for sharing how God continues to work. Angie, I and the body of believers here are continuing to pray for you guys.

    Steven & Angie

  5. It was SO good to see you last night at church, Andrew and Grace. We continue to pray for you all!

    The Suchta's

  6. Thank you for continuing to share your trials with us all. I am humbled and ashamed when comparing your attitude with mine. Praise God for the work of His Spirit.

    Andrew, no matter how bad you feel, never give up! Your fight is humbles and encourages me, and I suppose many others as well.

    God bless you and your family!

  7. Definitely praying for you and your family - I'm a friend of the Ing's, and have been motivated by your testimony. It is so true that God and His plan is much bigger than me, and whatever I am facing. Thank you!

  8. Andrew,
    Our family is praying for you. We love you very much and are constantly humbled by your unshakeable faith and the bravery you get from knowing God.

    We expect to see you well again soon so we can visit,
    Cousin Dan

  9. Thank you so much for your post Andrew. Your battle with cancer is truly bringing much glory to King Jesus. It is so true that God "uses the weak things in the world to to shame the strong". The Lord has given you much strength in your trial and He is continually carefully watching over you and your family. He loves you and loves glorifying His name through you.

    "I have said these things to you(Andrew) so that in me you will have peace. In this world you(Andrew) will have tribulation, but be of good cheer I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

    Your friend,
    Mark Suchta

  10. Isn't it amazing how God works in our lives!! It is so hard while your going through the storm but then you look back and see He was there with you all along the way!! It is very humbling. I know from my own experience of having a chronic illness. Your words are a testimony to His amazing grace!!

    God bless!!

  11. Andrew & Grace,

    you two were the first two to drive me to GCC my freshman year at UCLA. I still remember how grace read scripture to prepare our hearts for worship on the car ride there. You've both served to be an example to me, even when you didn't know it. I ran across your blog through my cousin steven lee. I wanted to let you know i'm praying for you both. I wanted to thank you for your continual example to me of your faith and reliance upon God. Thanks.

    -melissa huang

  12. Hello Andrew and Grace,
    It's great to hear your heart. God is so good to us on so many levels and it is much easier for me to think that "Good" always comes in the form that I think it should.

    We have been learning much about God's care and plan for us lately. It is true that the rougher the storm the more dependent we seem to become on Him, though we should realize our utter dependence all the time, we don't. When the road is smooth we relax but we don't grow.
    Thanks for your encouragement in so many forms and we will pray that God will continue to grow and shape us all through this time and that the time would not be wasted.

    I am reminder of Matt. 14:22-33 as JZ spoke from this passage yesterday. When Peter got out of the boat and started to sink, Jesus picked him up out of the waves and took him into His arms. Peter could look back on that moment for the rest of his time on earth and remember his Father's love for him, there is nothing too big for his God and there is nothing to be afraid of. God is so personal.
    We love you guys and are praying for you.
    The Weinbergs

  13. Thank you for sharing with all of us Andrew and Grace. We are continually petitioning God for His grace to be displayed more and more. And of course, for complete healing to your body.
    We rejoice and weep with you both. You are deeply missed here at Grace Bible Church.
    With much prayer,
    Joan Dabrowski

  14. Andrew & Grace,

    My name is Belinda, I am a member of CIBC Church at Oakland Chinatown, California. I go to the Chinese congregation. I learn about your trials through one of my fellowship sisters, Amy Ng. At first, when I read Grace's blog about what you have been going through, my heart ache so much. Although I don't know you in person, I have a son about your age and I was thinking what happen if my son also has to go through the similar trials as you are going through now. Being a mother, I would be completely heart broken. But God talked to me and said "My grace is enough for you; for My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in your weakness." Alleluia, praise the Lord, our heavenly Father is an Almighty and Loving God. For all the earth is His. Jesus knows your pain and trials because he went through all that when he was word became flesh. Jesus is with you all the time. So talk to him like a child whenever you feel like giving up, he will comfort you and answer all your prayers. Thank you for continue sharing your genuine and humble faith with us. You are the one who encourage all the people who read your blog including me and glorify God in His amazing way. Please pray for my husband who has not receive Jesus' salvation yet and one of my daughters who currently leaves God.
    I will also keep you and your family in my prayer too. God Loves you!