With antibiotics I was able to recover from pneumonia and got back into speech and physical therapy this past week. The awesome answer to prayer is that because I was knocked out by pneumonia I didn't do any exercises in my mouth or neck which helped some of the painful sores in my mouth and throat heal. This allowed me to back off of some of my narcotics. So far I'm at half the dosage I was at before. If it weren't for the terrible withdrawl symptoms I would get off the narcotics faster. The withdrawl makes me extremely irritated and jittery so I have to try really hard to be patient with people.
The hardest thing about waiting for my PET scan on October 1 is just not knowing what to do next with my life. I want to know if I'm going to have a few more months cancer free, or if I'm going to have to gear up for more treatments. I want answers to all the weird things I'm feeling like pain, shortness of breath, and swelling in my neck. In a lot of ways I feel unmotivated because I don't know if my efforts are going to matter. Am I going to live or die? I know its crazy to think that way, but those thoughts bombard my mind all day long and I have to fight to push them out. Please pray that the unknowns would not paralyze me and cause me to be fruitless in my duties as a husband, father and leader of my home. My family needs me more than ever, and I feel weaker and more distracted than ever.