Sunday, September 28, 2008

PET Scan Blues

With antibiotics I was able to recover from pneumonia and got back into speech and physical therapy this past week. The awesome answer to prayer is that because I was knocked out by pneumonia I didn't do any exercises in my mouth or neck which helped some of the painful sores in my mouth and throat heal. This allowed me to back off of some of my narcotics. So far I'm at half the dosage I was at before. If it weren't for the terrible withdrawl symptoms I would get off the narcotics faster. The withdrawl makes me extremely irritated and jittery so I have to try really hard to be patient with people.

The hardest thing about waiting for my PET scan on October 1 is just not knowing what to do next with my life. I want to know if I'm going to have a few more months cancer free, or if I'm going to have to gear up for more treatments. I want answers to all the weird things I'm feeling like pain, shortness of breath, and swelling in my neck. In a lot of ways I feel unmotivated because I don't know if my efforts are going to matter. Am I going to live or die? I know its crazy to think that way, but those thoughts bombard my mind all day long and I have to fight to push them out. Please pray that the unknowns would not paralyze me and cause me to be fruitless in my duties as a husband, father and leader of my home. My family needs me more than ever, and I feel weaker and more distracted than ever.


  1. Thanks for the updates. It reminds me to pray.

  2. Andrew, thank you for sharing with us how to specifically pray for you right now. I'm sure it's difficult (if not impossible without the Holy Spirit's help) to rest in God's sovereignty and gracious will, and push away those other thoughts, and be able to meditate on what's true, honorable, pure, etc (God's ways, His works, His Word...). I encourage you to cling to His grace and know without fear that He holds tomorrow in His hands and will give you the strength and wisdom as each need arises. We love you and know that God loves you more than we can even comprehend. You're a bright reflection of God's glory -- keep shining, my friend and brother!
    -Dave and Cynthia

  3. praise the Lord that the PET scan is tomorrow. the Lord has brought you this far. He'll be faithful to you always. we are praying for you.

  4. Andrew,
    Amanda and I are praying fervently that you are finally completely cancer free,and that the pains you are feeling are from healing. We are praying night and day for your comfort, for your time with Grace and the kids. As for "dying" thoughts, push those towards the Lord!
    "Cast your anxiety on the Lord...He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
    Whether we are fighting for our life against disease, or we are at our healthiest, we must PRAISE and GIVE thanks to God for infusing our relationships with our wives, that they may be an encouragement to you now.
    Feel free to email me with your daily struggles, I would love to talk through them with you.
    We love you both so much.
    --Steven & Amanda von Horn

  5. We are praying, Andrew.

    ~Kim S. (RBC)

  6. I read this verse from the hymn "How Firm a Foundation" and thought of you and Grace. The idea is taken from Isaiah 43.
    "When through the deep waters i cause thee to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow. For I will be with thee thy trials to bless, and sactify to thee thy deepest distress."
    We are praying for you!