In the last blog I mentioned that I was hoping to get my feeding tube out sooner than the doctor was expecting. The other day the tube site started hurting much more than normal. I called the nurse and she explained that the red swollen lump around the tube that was causing so much pain was actually my stomach pushing itself out of the hole. Thankfully in the Lord's timing it had been just over 3 weeks since my last chemo so the pain in my mouth and throat was subsiding. The worst of the pain in my mouth is usually about 2-3 weeks after chemo treatments. So I was able to start taking all my calories through the mouth, and finally got my tube out on Wednesday. Praise the Lord! It almost doesn't feel right that I should be able to feel this good.
The other day I told Grace that it doesn't seem right that things would actually go well for me. I don't feel like I deserve to feel better, or get my tube out early. I told her that I feel like if things are going well now, it just means that something bad is going to happen soon. I guess I had gotten used to difficulty of treatment that I wasn't really expecting the Lord to bless me so much in the recovery. But then I thought to myself, God isn't like that. He is not just waiting give me another bad thing that I deserve. He isn't hateful and mean. Instead, He is gracious and merciful. Praise God for answering the prayers of His saints for my recovery!
Psa 145:8-12 The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.
All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD, and all your saints shall bless you!
They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power, to make known to the children of man your mighty deeds, and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.